..:Current Mood: Depressed
..:Listening to: Loreena mcKinnit
Today was the anniversary of my brothers death, I hate this time of year. My mum shuts herself off and throws herself into work, she never stays home and always finds something that desperately needs to be done all evening. My dad stays home and does god knows what while we're at school, then we would get home and he's look at us with that sad smile on his face and dredge up some memory from when we were little munchkins.
Everything's changed so much from last year. I'm no longer at home, or at highschool. I'm no longer the same person I was and it shows in so many ways, I have new scars that weren't there last year, both physical and emotional. I cut my hair, something that defined me for a long time, it was the one thing i was really vain about and i got rid of it.
I hate feeling this useless, it's been over a decade since it happened, and it still echoes in everything that my family does, it shaped our actions for so long, and there's nothing I can do to fix it or make it better.