Okay, a few things that need to be said real quickly:
Nikki, happy birthday me dear, sorry we can't be down south to celebrate the day your mother farted you out of her womb, but students funds being what they are... well, you understand.
To the roomates: You are all going to die slow painful deaths. Soon.
Drake, you ever try anything that mindnumbingly stupid again and I will castrate you.
Beej, gimme a call, I have something I need to talk to you about.